Is that a cop? 👀👀

Happy anniversary my fellow peeps. Shenanigans with Shonda is celebrating our 1 year blogversary!!! (if that’s a word). So I’m cruising through my news feed on social media and see a meme about the Ford Explorer and those that drive it. This car is hated by everyone except for police and soccer moms. I wish someone would discontinue this car because let me tell yall how tired I am of driving down the highway going a steady 80 mph and Carol come up behind me in this car and I have to then go the speed limit. I put my hands at 10 and 2. I find room to move over so that the officer (that I think is behind me) can past me and I noticed it’s just you Samantha. You nearly gave me a heart attack and for what? So you can drive Billy and Zach to practice. Get a Mini Van if you want to transport your children to and from places. You chose this car and decided it would be fun to ride up on my bumper and make me nervous like I’m doing something wrong and I’m not. I keep getting mini panic attacks thinking like “do I have a warrant” or “is my license good” “is there a tail light” when a your behind me and I think it’s the cops. I’m tired of the false alarms when it comes to Barbara, her angled Bob and her little white ford explorer heading to the nearest grocery or retail store to ask for the manager. Long story short yall I’m pissed off and I’m tired of it.

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It’s my face that needs deliverance

I know I am not the only one whose face can tell what I’m feeling or thinking. I wear my emotions on my face heavy. It’s especially bad at work. Now I have big curly hair this week (yes my hair changes often) and I am grateful because it blocks my face when my coworker is annoying me. She asks me a question for the 50 11th time today and I answer her question while rolling my eyes at her. Or someone comes in to ask me a dumb question I have to resist the urge to turn my face up at them and just answer the question. So doing some research I realized that I have RBF (resting b***h face) RBF defined on urban dictionary says ” a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to.” they then give an example “Nah, she’s just got resting b***h face, she actually really sweet. This is 100 percent me. I will be in deep thought thinking about what I want to cook for dinner but all you see is that I look like someone just pissed me off. I can’t help it that’s the way my face is. I want to offer some tips with dealing with someone who has RBF. If you know someone with RBF please do not tell them to smile we hate that tremendously because you will make us then have an attitude. Listen RBF is not a bad thing because I’m sure I speak for alot of people when I say you would rather me have this look then me open my mouth because I can’t take back these words when I curse you out but I can say that I have RBF and that’s why I looked at you the way I did. You will feel better and I won’t have to find bail money. Many people struggle with RBF and right now there isn’t a cure. There is however Hennessy. It’s a brown liquor cognac that makes you feel better. If your not a fan of brown liquor because it makes you want to fight please opt for a clear liquor like ciroc or some other type of vodka or rum. If you know anyone who is suffering with RBF they are urged to handle their own problems because idc!!

Let kids be kids

Now if this hurts your feelings I don’t care just so you know! Now that’s out the way on to the blog post. I saw so many kids on Facebook and Instagram on Easter Sunday and some of them especially the little girls were dressed a little too “grown” for me. I don’t think little Tonya needs to be 13 in 4 inch heels going to church. With that being said it’s not the kids that I have a problem with it’s the parenting. Now someone is gonna say “well you don’t have kids” you are absolutely right I don’t have children yet 👀 but I have siblings and little cousins and it all starts at home. Your child is only gonna do what you allow them and I don’t know a 14 year old or younger that is driving themselves to the store to go pick out some stilettos just saying. So in order for them to have them the parents or someone had to purchase them. So that means your encouraging your young teen to be dressed this way. Now I’m all for them to grow up and be a teenager but not accelerate the process. Lil sis can wear heels but not 3 to 4 inches. She can wear skirts and dresses but not short ones let them come to the knee and below. Don’t be alarmed when she is all in some little boys face because he seen a new pair of legs. 👀Govern thyself accordingly

Token Black Girl

In many jobs that I have had over the past few years I have either been the only black person or one of a handful of black people. Doesn’t necessarily bother me, I just find that’s just the way the it is. What I find most is that being the only or one of the few people don’t know how to handle you especially if you are a strong minded individual like myself. I find that I always have to explain that my personality and why I am the way I am. I always have to explain things like my hair when it’s different. It’s always that question “is that your hair?” or “how do you get your hair like that?”. You never here the colonizers ask each other if that’s there hair or how the achieve a specific style but yet that’s why I have to deal with. I always find myself explaining slang terms or identifying the black actor in a movie that’s not Denzel Washington or Will Smith. It’s annoying!!!!!!! The mistake passion for being the angry black girl but if Molly acted the same way, she is just upset and it’s justified. I’m fed up by all of this but it is my reality. The fact of the matter is I will never be as good as the others and if I am I had to work 3x as hard to get just a piece of what they have.

Didn’t ya mom teach you manners

Good morning my brothas and sistas! I am a person who has manners. I speak to everyone when I walk into a room. I say good morning to everyone like a normal human being. Well some people don’t and every Tuesday is when I notice this situation. There is a woman from my job, an older lady she could probably be my grandmother she looks that old but age wise I’m not sure. You would think that she was taught, that when you walk into an office with 2 people you should speak to both parties. I don’t think she gets the memo because she constantly walks in sits down in a chair next to my desk and completely ignores the fact that I exist. She speaks to Molly but never to me until I make her speak. I do this by saying good morning (with a slight attitude) to her and then she says it back. I really don’t feel as though I should be telling this 100 year old woman to say good morning to the little black girl that shares an office with the white woman. (did you see what I did there?) none of this surprises me that she doesn’t speak to me because many people walk in my office and do the same thing. It’s mostly the white males that do it. It’s okay because why you don’t speak to me I’ll continue to do my schoolwork so that I can get this degree and one day I just may be your boss and then…. Oh my dear just wait. You’ll be saying more than good morning to me.

Pleasantries and blessings!

Spank Me??? 👀 👀

Did ya miss me? Sorry I’ve been gone for a little minute. Life happened basically. I know you’re looking at the title thinking something kinky and I’m sorry to disappoint. This will not be about any dominatrix or 50 shades of grey it’s actually regarding spanking children. Now many of us 80’s and before babies have been spanked as a child and we have turned out pretty good. I do not have children as of yet but I do believe in spanking. That being said I was speaking to a friend who said her 3 year old son hit her not 1 not even 2 but 3 times THREEE TIMES. *me scoozi??? * me and my melanin brotha were dumbfounded to say the least. She said she doesn’t believe in spanking her child which is essentially her prerogative but I don’t believe in a child hitting their parents. I’m just saying that you let them get away with this one thing they gonna be whooping ya ass by the time they are 10. Nip it in the bud at an early age and tap that booty with your hand so that they know. I want to hear from you guys what are your thoughts?

Stuff black people don’t do #1

I feel like I’m always the person at that has to tell my Caucasian peeps things that black people do not participate in on a regular basis. It’s like a set of unwritten rules that I’m constantly spewing out at random times. So today at lunch there was myself, my melanin brotha and 2 of our fair skin coworkers. The topic for some reason was brought up about Ouija board. This is some sort of board with letters numbers and words that I’m assuming you ask the Ouija board a question and it spells out the answer. Now the only black people I know who played with it was on the TV show Martin and that was for a check, other than that issa no. So the fair skin peeps were just talking about all of the times they played with and that it was fun. Sis idk what part of playing with the spirit world is fun. I had to inform her black people don’t mess with the spirits and that our parents don’t play that either. Spirits and all of that are real things to me and I for one am not trying to wake them up from the nap they are having so they can come mess with me it’s just a huge no for me. This is why in the movies the fair skin peeps should listen to us black folk and not go into the dark rooms or to not look back and fall when your running. Just get the hell out the way and dodge.